Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We talked him into tasing himself.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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