He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
