i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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