Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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