yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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