I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
