girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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