You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
