the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you had me at cake vodka
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
