And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
