You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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