did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
