Don't make out with my wife yet
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
