this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm sobbing to NWA
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
