Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My balls are so social today.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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