You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
