how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
