...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
