Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
