the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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