Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize