so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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