Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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