i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
