i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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