You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
