I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Fuck appropriateness.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize