Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
