Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
