he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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