I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
