people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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