No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
