erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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