Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
