Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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