and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
