Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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