she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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