PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
