I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
