It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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