One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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