My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
