I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Randomize