I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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