Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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