Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
