I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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