The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
