What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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